So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
