Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
