so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
