Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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