How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
