if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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