P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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