i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
