He had one of those small greek statue penises
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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