I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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