Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
