What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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