I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
