idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
