I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She told me I should be a condom model.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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