4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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