I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
