I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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