My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
