She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize