i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
