I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just cropdusted the office
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
