I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
