So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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