i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
