I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize