Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
