it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
