id be glad to
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
