Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
