Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
