Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
