your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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