Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I looked at my own cervix.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
