You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
