we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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