I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
