if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
