My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
