some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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