PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
