You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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