can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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