Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
