It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
