There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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