Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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