You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
