addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
