google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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