Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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