Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize