There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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