Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
