i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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