Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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