6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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