I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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