I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
