Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
