I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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