Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
