I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
